Reciprocity Effect: Like you me, so I you

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Reciprocity effect: manipulating with the favor trap
Beware of the courtesy trap: reciprocity tempts you to make concessions
This is how the reciprocity trap can be averted
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Pay every debt as if God wrote the bill, once warned the Unitarian and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson. Whether he is already doing the principle of reciprocity internalized is not known. But it brings the so-called Commitment to reciprocity perfectly to the point. Numerous sociologists, including Alvin Gouldner, have been able to demonstrate this as a profoundly human principle that can be demonstrated in all societies. Reciprocity is what holds social networks together; Roped parties, fellowship and clique promoted as well as behind the idioms One hand washes the other or Tit for tat plugged. But there is also one dangerous trap…

Reciprocity effect: manipulating with the favor trap

Understood and used correctly, that's what makes us reciprocity unfortunately enormously docile and prone to manipulation. It is precisely because it appears so subtle that it unfolds great impact.

Free samples In supermarkets work exactly according to this principle: Sellers who offer to take “another bite” play with a guilty conscience and force unsuspecting customers into one Courtesy trapto buy the whole sausage afterwards.

Supermarket promoter Vance Packard described one in particular in 1957 perfidious scamwith the help of which he sold a whopping 500 kilos of cheese in a few hours - only because he had asked customers to cut free samples of any size for themselves. The people eventually fell victim to their initial greed.
In turn, the Organization of American War invalids reports that the response rate has been reduced to standardAppeals for donations would be 18 percent. However, if a small present - such as a postcard - were added to the letters, the success rate would rise to more than 35 percent.

Plump but effective: Gifts create a feeling of connectedness - but also an unpleasant one Guilt. That puts a strain on us and motivates us to do something about it. After all, hardly anyone wants to be seen as a scrounger.

However, for the same reason Gifts have also been turned down: Scientists have been able to show that women who are invited for a drink by men are classified as easier by men and women (!).

Beware of the courtesy trap: reciprocity tempts you to make concessions

However, they seem particularly insidious Concessions during a negotiation. They not only exert pressure on the beneficiary of a concession to reciprocate: Whoever makes a sacrifice first, can do it more easily Time of consideration influence.

Say you ask your boss for 10 percent more salary. "Impossible", he will answer, which you have already realized.

So after some banter, ask him for at least 5 percent plus ... Zack, now you have him: You have just made a sacrifice of 5 percent, and your boss will now find it much more difficult to answer your (always well-founded, of course) request Reject a raise again.

The same will apply to all Collective bargaining regularly made excessive demands at the beginning. Only because it is wonderfully easy to make compromises afterwards in order to get closer tactically to the secretly targeted result.

It's all a game with reciprocity!

Overexciting But you shouldn't do this either, otherwise the shot will backfire. Research by the Israeli Bar-Ilan University showed: Who exaggerated unrealistic demands poses, he is denied to negotiate seriously. Moving away at a later date is then no longer seen as a real concession, but as a necessary correction.

Effect: The effect of the Reciprocity fizzles out.

This is how the reciprocity trap can be averted

But how can you protect yourself from falling into the courtesy trap?

To generally refuse gifts, would be a method, but not the most social one. Not every giver will speculate on dabbling you - sometimes it's all about making you happy (or paying off an old debt).
In all cases, however, in which you recognize that the offers made have a purpose, turn the tables around calmly: Accept the gift with thanks, nothing more. After all, according to the rule of reciprocity, any attempt to exploit you should also be exploited.