Charm offensive: How to win over others

Content

• Charm Offensive Meaning: Try the nice way
• Charm offensive: Charm is part of our socialization
• Charm or charisma?
• Charm offensive: Not with the mallet method
• Charm offensive: Tips for targeted charm
• Humility
• interest
• Self-confidence
• Memory
• Body language
• openness

Oh dear You didn't react particularly cleverly to a customer's complaint, but don't want to lose the customer? And at the meeting the other day, you verbally stepped on your colleague's feet, so that he is still reacting extremely coldly? Then it is time for a charm offensive. You may think charm is innate - not at all. You can train your charm if you want to increase your sympathy values ​​again. How to do that, we show here ...

Charm Offensive Meaning: Try the nice way

What does charm offensive mean? The term charm offensive has been popular since the 1950s. In the literal sense of the word, “charm” comes from the French “charmer” = “fascinate, delight” or “enchant”. This in turn goes back to the Latin “carmen” for song, poem. The Duden describes "charm as an attraction that emanates from someone's winning nature". He or she is characterized by a certain magic. Charm as a component of personality is therefore very complex.

“Going on the offensive” is a military language formulation and actually means “going on the attack”. Now, a charming attack is probably as aggressive as a soft down pillow attack. And that's exactly what it's all about: to ensnare the other person, to lull them into charm, so that they are completely defenseless and you have to find you sympathetic!

Charm offensive: Charm is part of our socialization

When it comes to “magic”, one or the other might think that charm falls into the realm of the impossible. However, when it comes to defining the term charm, this is rather misleading, because this personality trait is not that inexplicable. The fact that some have more charm, others less is easy to explain: a number of factors influence how charming we become. On the one hand, there are our parents, the first role models. Your behavior affects us most strongly at a young age.

A great influence the cultural environment also influences how charming a person is or how charming they are perceived to be. Because what is still interpreted as flirting in one country can already be considered impolite in another culture. Therefore, charm is a quality that is ascribed to someone by others and not something you declare to others that you have. Rather, you have various behaviors that make you appear charming to other people.

For a charm offensive, you only need to know which behaviors produce which effects and you are already a long way ahead. This, of course, is where the art lies, because charm is made up of a number of properties that are used in a kind of bundled manner in a charm offensive.

Charm is the art of getting a yes answer without asking anything. (Albert Camus)

Charm or charisma?

The three Charites, sub-goddesses in antiquity, are associated with grace, beauty and the joy of festivities. It is from these Charites that both charm and charisma are derived in the root of the word. Against this mythological background, charisma has long been seen as God's grace, but it is now also known that it can be learned. Herein lies another similarity with charm. Just like charm, charisma is a very complex quality that is perceived in a person by outsiders.

The difference: Charm as behavior describes a sympathetic, friendly person in whose presence we like to be. Someone who has charisma doesn't have to be particularly friendly or charming. In contrast to charm, charisma does not have exclusively positive connotations. Those who have charisma have the ability to cast a spell over people, to move the masses. It's great when a boss manages to motivate his employees to do something. However, this is also dangerous if, for example, politicians abuse this gift to start wars.

Charm offensive: Not with the mallet method

If you come across people who you find unsympathetic per se and who are determined to stick to their opinion, then you will not be able to change anything. A charm offensive is therefore particularly useful in cases in which all is not yet lost. Or else, in which it is first necessary to take a person for yourself. A certain amount of tact is required. Anyone who goes back to yesterday's compliments and hackneyed slogans like “Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven?” Shouldn't be surprised if at best they reap a tired smile.

Of course, such a charm offensive doesn't necessarily happen on fertile soil. The secret is authenticity. Because if you really want to win your counterpart, it is not enough to simply unwind some methods. That would be manipulation. Rather, it is about critically reflecting on one's own communication behavior and reacting to one's surroundings with empathy.

A charm offensive is often spoken of in politics and business. With this procedure the own image should be polished up again. With winning and friendly behavior, the opposite - this can be consumers or the population as a whole - is signaled to be accommodating. Ultimately, it is also about realizing your own goals and interests. If it is done cleverly and no one is ripped off, there is little objection to this.

Charm offensive: Tips for targeted charm

If a commercial enterprise decides to launch a charm offensive, then that obviously means that conclusions have been drawn from its previous behavior. Sales are falling - could the last advertising campaign have been badly received? Such cases are not so rare and if a company has exceeded its limits, lost items must be made up. In the end, companies are nothing more than the sum of their employees, so self-reflection is the order of the day, especially at the decision-making level.

In addition, the following properties are very helpful in regaining trust with a charm offensive:

• Humility

  An appearance that does not signal any awareness of wrongdoing is not particularly sympathetic per se. Anyone who communicates to the outside world that they are not making any mistakes and that they are the greatest at all draws defenses, at best even envy. Such behavior leads to the fact that in the case of clear mistakes many turn away from you. As always, a healthy dose is required. Of course, being humble does not mean that you cannot be proud of what you have achieved. Rather, it is about recognizing the achievements of others as well and not constantly focusing on yourself.

• interest

  Recognizing the accomplishments of others requires genuine interest. Let other people tell you something. This is how you often learn valuable things. In addition, you make the other person feel important. The more you learn about this person, the better you can understand their behaviors and emotions and respond to them adequately.

• Self-confidence

  At first glance it may seem like a contradiction to the required modesty: But if you want to start a successful charm offensive, you need a portion of self-confidence. Those who constantly make themselves small are also seen by others as inconspicuous and of little interest. You know yourself and your abilities best, so you should have a reasonable trust in them too. This automatically radiates outwards and makes you look more attractive to others.

• Memory

  One very simple trick you can use to gain the sympathy of others is to remember their names. The other person automatically feels flattered when they discover after a brief acquaintance that you have remembered their name.

• Body language

  Just as you need a certain self-confidence for your charm offensive, you should also pay attention to your body language. Whoever sits huddled in a corner, who often looks down, appears less present and therefore less self-confident. Better is a straight posture with an upright gait in which the feet are properly rolled off. Look your counterpart in the eye while you are talking. If there is sympathy between two people, the chameleon effect occurs almost automatically.

• openness

  Be friendly and accommodating, especially with new colleagues. They are often grateful if you don't know anyone in the company and someone helps them with small everyday problems. Openness signals to other people a general willingness to communicate and helps to feel more comfortable and to establish familiarity.